


CAN WE START AT ONE?

by joli_camarillo



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/M, Forgive Me, Forgiveness, Re-kindled relationship, Starting Over, broken trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-10-19 09:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20654963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joli_camarillo/pseuds/joli_camarillo
Summary: Unable to assure Peter Mills that no lingering feelings for Matt Casey remain to impede the progress of their budding relationship, the two part, and Dawson tries to see if a romance with Casey will work. It doesn’t...They meet in a small park not far from Dawson and Shay’s apartment (after at least a few dozen appeals from Dawson, Shay, Severide, and Antonio Dawson)





	1. ONE...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [forgetmenotjimmy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetmenotjimmy/gifts), [elejah24](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elejah24/gifts), [dandelionfairies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelionfairies/gifts).

“Peter Mills.”

“Gabriela Dawson.”

“Sit, or walk?”

“Walk…I don’t wanna be too close too you for too long.”

(_O-KAAAAY_…)  
“You’re looking good-not missing any work-outs?”

“What do you want, Gaby?”  
(_So…no small talk_)

“Is it too late? To press rewind, and start back at “one?”

Mills snorts. “Push-back from Casey? Mira: I’ve never been anyone’s second choice. I’m someone’s first choice, all I need do is find her. To answer your question: Yes, it’s too late.”

Taking a breath, Gaby argues, “I don’t see why I’m not allowed one mistake…true it was a hella mistake, a relationship-killing mistake, some might say, but I’m human and I have flaws. Like YOU, like anyone. Maybe the way we started shadowed everything else…we went from dinner to drunk sex." 

“You met my Mom and Sister. They asked about you a few weeks later, and I have to say we’re no longer together. I looked like a fucking FOOL, Gabriela-thanks to you.”

‘Okay, alright. I deserve your scorn, I admit that. I’ll just want to say that if you forgive me, agree to wipe the slate clean, that you will have my complete attention, JUST YOU. I know I said that before, and you probably don’t trust me. But… look at me Peter Mills.”

Mills continues walking, without heeding her request. “Please, look at me? Please?” Mills does stop, and turns to her. Staring into her dark eyes is captivating, and he steels his resolve, waiting for what might be next. 

“You can trust me, Peter Mills. You’ll see…just let’s…have lunch together, or dinner…movies at home, that kinda shit…so that we get to know one another, learn that you CAN trust me again. I apologize, and I’ll keep apologizing, as long as I need to. C’mon, Peter Mills. If you say no, I’ll just stalk you until say yes. I’ll follow you, harass one-night stands, boil your rabbit…”

“Alright, alright, alright!” You get ONE MORE SHOT, but if you make a fool of me…”

“Yay!!” Delighted, Dawson applauds his answer. “You’ll see: I won’t let you down again.”


	2. TWO...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaby Dawson and Peter Mills continue their  
discussion

“I have no excuse for why I did what I did, Peter Mills. No way to rationalize it, or try to justify it. I don’t really understand it myself, at least I haven’t settled it in my mind yet. I’m sorry, Peter Mills. Deeply, sincerely sorry for what I’ve done.”

“Why, though? I have to ask: was a reason, or the reason: RACE?”

“The truth…the truth is…I think…partly. Admitting that breaks my heart, it really and truly does. I’m a mixed-race person myself-an Afro-Latina-and I know how it is to be looked at differently when I give my last name as Dawson…how that must make you view me I can only wonder.”

“Not positively, to be honest. I am puzzled, not that shocked.”

“I don’t blame you. I see how that would be. I’ve been wondering…do your Mom and Sister hate my guts now?”

“Truth? They’re not happy with you-NOT-AT-ALL.”

“And YOU? I admit I’m hopeful about you agreeing to meet me.” 

“Not so fast…I haven’t decided if you’re forgiven or not. After that, we’ll see.”

[_OH, THANK GOD…Thank God._]  
“if you need more time…to think it over…”

“That’d be good. I’ll sleep on it, think it through some more. You should know, though-I have no intention of letting you fuck me over like that again-NEVER AGAIN.”  
“Understood. I understand. You’ll let me know? Maybe we can…cook a meal together…sometime?”

“Maybe. Sometime.”


	3. THREE...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their next get-together doesn't go so well....it's  
a disaster, to be honest

I hurt you, I know that. I'm sorrier for that than I can ever say. These  
are just words, I know. But if I can just have a chance to SHOW YOU-  
I can prove myself worthy of your forgiveness. Gaby's expression is earnest  
and sincere.

Peter Mills somberly responds: So Casey didn't spend the night at your place last night.

_ The OH SHIT _ moment has officially arrived. Um...ahhh...how did you...shit!  
it's not what you think.

What I'm thinking is that you can't be trusted and every word you speak is as likely as not a  
fucking lie.

Desperate, Gaby can see that coming clean is her only option. OK, OK...he WAS there last night, but  
ONLY to say goodbye. Nothing happened-we talked until dawn, and he left.

You SEE. Digging through all of your bullshit is too exhausting. You could have just said that you and  
Casey needed a goodbye fuck to clear the decks, which would at least be honest-I can understand that;  
but your go-to was the LIE. You're a dishonest person with a sketchy moral compass, and I can't believe you  
for any portion of a second. So...you should go. I'm highly upset, and you should leave.

Peter Mills, PLEASE! (they say at the same time). Gaby bursts into deep, wrenching tears, sobbing like a child.  
That's IT, then...you won't believe me now; I have deceived you, and if I say I'm sorry for that you won't believe me  
anyway.

Once her tears are somewhat under control, Gaby stands and addresses Mills one last time. I shouldn't have lied about  
Casey and me. I want to be honest with you, I really do...I don't know why I default to a lie. Let me know if you want  
me to transfer out of the house. I'll do whatever you want-I owe you that much. You don't believe me, but I'm sorry  
Peter Mills. I'm so sorry. Bye.

She walks out, hoping that he'll stop her, call her back, which he of course DOESN'T. In the elevator, fresh tears fill her  
big, dark eyes as she remembers his cutting words, the ones that cleave her heart in two: ...'You can't be trusted and  
every word you speak is as likely as not a fucking lie...'You're a dishonest person with a sketchy moral compass'...

How can she complain, though? He's right.


End file.
